Higher Ed Administrators: Tip #1–Order Chick-fil-A

The very first thing I learned when I started working as a higher education administrator 12 years ago, was that college students love to eat (OK, not really. I was a college student once too so that’s a given). More importantly, they love to eat Chick-fil-A. No seriously. Tim Hawkins is every college student’s sprit animal. Because he wrote an entire song about Chick-fil-A. For you “kids” who don’t know who I’m talking about, I might be showing my age, but YouTube it. Hilarious.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a college student more elated when I’ve said the words, “Chick-fil-A nugget tray.” It’s basically stacks and stacks of nuggets, endless for days… and they are the bane of my existence. I ordered those things so much at one point that I even had dreams that I was being buried alive by them.

And trust me. When you order the nuggets enough, you can smell those things a mile away. The students seem to have a sixth sense with those things too. They’ll seriously crash an event just to get their hands on them.

“Thank you for coming! We’re so glad you interested in learning more about the LGBT community!”

“Oh. Actually, I’m straight. I’m just here for Chick-fil-A.”

You think I’m kidding? I’ve overheard an actual conversation like this. Sad. But true.

Here’s my experience when students bug me about what food we’re ordering for them out of the kindness of our hearts (and small budget). Based on the food selection, they’ll decide if the event or meeting is worth going to or not.

Me: “You’re coming to the info. session, right?”

College student: “I don’t know. What are we eating?”

Me: “Probably Chick-fil-a nuggets.”

College Student: “Oh my God! I’m bringing all my friends!” *runs off like they just won the lottery*

So at least you’ll have high attendance when word gets out that Chick-fil-A is being served. And trust me. No matter how big a school you work at, word will get out—just leave it up to one student; they got you covered. And unlike the campus dining hall, they’ll never get sick of it.

Don’t Forget the Sauces!

Just ketchup? Don’t even say such words. The sauces and the nuggets are a package deal. The bad part is, the sauce “containers” they give you end up being a complete utter mess. You get plastic spoons and tubs of sauce that are filled to the brim. And it seems like no matter how many napkins you get with them, it’s never enough. Want a good laugh? Watch when the newbies who order Chick-fil-A for the first time see what a disaster it ends up being after everyone is through the line. It’s a table full of multi-colored liquids all over the place– like a toddler just threw up everywhere. I asked my boss once, “How are we going to clean this up?! It’s a disaster!” We cleaned it up the first time and were like, “Never again.”. After that, we threatened the students with a tray full of nuggets saying, “You want these again?” Then you clean up this mess.”

Also, a word to the wise. You have to get a variety of sauces, because let’s face it. Students cannot be happy with just one sauce. It’s all about BBQ, Honey Mustard, Ranch, Buffalo, and that weird Polynesian sauce that no one knows exactly what it consists of. And be careful. You’re only allowed a certain number of sauces per tray for free, so unless you have a big enough budget (Most likely, you won’t. It is higher education after all), choose wisely. Don’t know what sauces they like best? Don’t worry. The students will make sure to let you know as soon as the food arrives.

Oh, and the Sweet Tea!

Another tip. Don’t forget to order the sweet tea along with those nugget trays. Because if you work at a college (especially in the south), they (and I mean they in a broad sense, because it’s not just the students) will throw hissy fits if there is no sweet tea. A couple of times during my events, the sweet tea gallons ran out and all that was left was regular tea. And they acted like I had mental issues because, “Who in the world would order unsweet tea from Chick-fil-a?!”

So What’s So Special About Chick-fil-A?

Honestly, I don’t know why students are obsessed. You think I would since I wrote a whole chapter on it (and no, I’m not being paid by Chick-fil-A to endorse them).

Maybe you’ll be lucky and end up having tons of vegetarians.  But don’t think you’re off the hook. Even though the title of the fast-food chain suggests that “only carnivores eat here,” that’s not true in today’s world. There are vegetarians who eat at Chick-fil-A regularly because of the salads and now, the mac & cheese (of which I have yet to try). In my own personal opinion, if you’re eating salads at a fast-food restaurant, there’s something wrong with you. But, I guess if you absolutely HAVE to choose a fast-food place to eat a salad, Chick-fil-A is probably your best bet. After all, they have kale in one of their salads. Kudos to them. Still, though.

So, I’m just gonna leave this for your viewing pleasure. Because these nugget trays will always look the same.

If you ever have a bad day and just think to yourself, “Why am I even in this field in the first place? The students hate me. I can’t do anything right.” Sure you can. Just order these things for your next event and you will be everyone’s best friend.