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For Play: Baltimore, Maryland (Dec. 17-20, 2011)
Last month I took a last-minute trip (OK, not so last minute. I booked it a month ahead of time when I noticed ticket prices were going up every 15 minutes) to see my dear college buddies, Sherri & Teri. Now that they’re both in the same city, it makes it easier to please both of them at the same time. But get this–even though they live just a block or two away from each other, they only see each other once every couple of months. How does that happen?
Well, as I’ve always said. I’m the glue that holds us together. Consider me the cream filling in our little Oreo.
Though we spent most of my time sitting at Sherri’s house with her husband who let us (well OK, mostly Sherri & Teri) gab about the old college days (“Has it really been 5 years since we graduated? Do you remember when…? Whatever happened to so-and-so?), there were a few highlights of visiting the city of…well, I don’t know what the city is known for. The Ravens, perhaps?
Highlights:
- Eating my first crab cake. It still astounds me that even though I have been to Baltimore on more than once occasion when I went home with Teri for the holidays, I never tried a crab cake. Maybe because the still frightened me. When I got it, I was a little surprised. Not fried?! Blasphemy! After all, that’s how I eat my seafood down under. How was it? Well, I tried it. That’s all that matters. I’m actually surprised I got most of it down. It sure does have a strong, fishy smell to it. Next time—fry up that sucker!
- The Inner Harbour. It really was pretty all lighted up during Christmas. I got one of my favorite pictures there on that bridge, too. Sherri & Teri refused to be in the picture with me, but their loss.
- Girls Day Out! This was the first time since college the three of us were able to go out and explore. And as much as I like Sherri’s husband, it was nice to be us again. It felt like nothing had changed. We saw the New Year’s Eve movie, and though we were skeptical at first (well, mostly Sherri), we were pleasantly surprised. Everytime something happened in the movie, we would whisper, “That is so you!” to each other. Examples:
-Sofia Vergara going fan-crazy, asking to get a picture with her pink camera in front of a rock star’s bus. “This is so you,” they whisper to me.
-Jessica Biel screaming in the delivery room: “That is so gonna be Sherri when she has a kid.”
We also went to a candy store in the Harbour with some not-so-appropriate novelty gifts. And this is a candy store where children go? Me no think so. Moving on, I just had to stop at a cupcake place, where Sherri and I treated ourselves to one. Still not the best cupcake in the world, but I have my standards.
4. Michael Jackson Wii game. Best. Game. Ever. Our treasured Michael Jackson nights were back. And now I want a Wii game just for Michael Jackson and for the Broadway dance game they rented for me. I was the only one who liked that one, though.
5. Pictures, pictures and more pictures. Everytime I would see something fun I would say, “Stop! Let’s take a picture!” And seconds after I would say that, Teri would say, “I knew you would say that.” Then, the rolling of the eyes commenced. But, at least this time I didn’t have to pull an arm and a leg for them to get into a picture with me. They’ve done some growing up! Although Teri did say I was slacking on the pictures. Maybe I’ve done the growing up!
6. Last but not least, the driving. Particularly, Teri’s driving. We attempted to go to a mall the Saturday before Christmas. BIG MISTAKE. We finally decided to give up and go home, so Teri drove around a car and someone else was pulling out of the parking lot at the same time. But when Teri makes up her mind, she sure does follow through! *honk* “I’m not waiting!” *honk* “Tough!” *honk honk* And she somehow gets the other car to stop and then she speeds out of there. It’s amazing we came out of there alive.
Places I wished I’d visited that I didn’t know were there:
- Ace of Cakes: “Oh, you went to Baltimore? Did you go to the Ace of Cakes place?” inquires a co-worker. I nearly spit out my water as we’re sitting to lunch. “What? That’s in Baltimore?” I then proceed to get a weird look. “Yeah, don’t you watch that show?” Apparently not.
- Edgar Allen Poe museum: Me: “Why is there all this Edgar Allen Poe stuff in these gift shops? Sherri: “Because he wrote the Raven poem. And you know, we have this little NFL team called the Ravens.” I then get another dumb-blonde look from my friends after it finally dawns on me. I thought there were just a lot of birds there. Me: “Oh, so is Edgar Allen Poe from Baltimore?” Teri: *shrugs* I don’t know. I guess. (And this coming from the person who’s lived in Baltimore her entire life). When I got home, I found out sure enough there is a whole house of Edgar Allen Poe stuff. It may be dark & twisted, but still. Awesome!
Lessons Learned:
-If I ever do go back to Baltimore, though the inner Harbour looks pretty, branch out. Believe it or not, there are actually some cool historical places to check out.
-It’s totally worth it to stand in line for an hour for Dollar Days at the Aquarium. I never did it, but after hearing how much regular ticket prices are, pack me a lunch and I’m camping out!
-Know which parts of town to live in. There were several areas we drove through that looked “sketchy.” But maybe I was seeing the world through Fort Worth-colored glasses where I can walk across the street to the duck pond to throw my trash away without having to lock my door. 3rd floor apartments rock.
– There are just as many crazed football fans as there are in Texas, so if you’re like me, there’s nothing you can do to stop the madness. Just plug in your headphones and crank up the volume.
-Get more artsy, outgoing friends. Just kidding. I love my college friends dearly.
To sum up, I had a great trip with great friends. And though I would never live in Baltimore (despite what my friends think), I had “Big Fun in Baltimore!” as Claire Huxtable from “The Cosby Show” would say.
For Play: Oahu, Hawaii (March 15-18, 2010)
Yes, you read the title right. I went to the Honeymoon capital of the world—all by myself. *insert sad song here*
I know what you’re thinking. “Why in the world would a single girl in her 20’s lay around on the beautiful beaches of Hawaii?” One word: LOST. Visiting the LOST set was on my bucket list and I absolutely had to do it before they quit filming and spring break was the very last possible moment I HAD to do this. I had waited and waited and waited…6 years to be exact to convince at least one of my LOSTie friends to come with me. But the entire time, all I got was, “Too expensive, too expensive, too expensive.” I mean, seriously. You can’t save up and put aside a little bit for 3 days? That’s all I really spent there. I even sent out massive emails begging someone to come with me because even though it didn’t bother me a bit that I could do this alone, my mom was ragging on me to find somebody. And she still is for that matter.
So I spent 3 glorious days in Hawaii by myself. And surprisingly, it was glorious. Oh, sure there were moments when I was sitting on the beach where Jack and Kate sat in the pilot episode, when I said, “Gee, I wish I had someone to take my picture” when the rest of my LOST tour bus were out walking around in their barefeet, talking to their friends/boyfriends/etc.
Eating by myself was a little awkward, as the Hawaiians (who are really pretty awesome, friendly people, by the way) are not used to someone coming into eat dinner alone. Seriously. It’s like… unheard of.
Take my first night out on the town (AKA, rest from the 10-hour jet lag, eat dinner at 6, watch TV and go to bed early,) I felt like an alien walking into my hotel’s restaurant. The waiter looked behind me and furrowed his eyebrows. “By yourself?” I looked around the room and there were young couples, old people, and frat guys on spring break (woo hoo!) eating french fries, and then there was me. “Uh, yeah” I say timidly. I was then reminded of that scene in “Friends” when Chandler says he totally judges women who eat by themselves. Monica then says, “Excuse me, what’s wrong with a woman eating alone?” Chandler: “Well, obviously something. She’s eating alone!” Now I know what he’s talking about. As I follow the waiter to my booth, people are staring at me and I quickly look down and shuffle my shoes along until I nearly run into the waiter. Thankfully, there is a TV at my booth so I have something to pretend to be invested in. But of course, football is turned on and there is no way I can change the dang channel because the same channel is playing at the bar near me. Hawaiians actually watch sports? I just pictured them lying out in the sun, drinking pina coladas ‘till they fell asleep.
I quickly ate my mac and cheese and salad with humongous croutons (all for a grand total of $30), got back to my hotel room, and took a bunch of random photos that looked like I was having fun. Of course, when I turn on the TV I get all warm and fuzzy when the first commercial I see is Terry O’Quinn advertizing LOST. I smile, quickly take a picture and snuggle into bed. “Too bad I can’t actually watch LOST this week. (I had a trip to the Polynesian Cultural Center bus trip planned that day). “But it’s a Sawyer episode. I can wait,” I say as I turn off the light and go to bed in one of the nicest hotel rooms I’ve been to. And it should have been-with the price I paid.
I could go on about my day at the Polynesian Cultural Center and that fact that my mom freaked out because she called me when I was in the middle of watching some Tahitian guy shed coconuts and I blew her off. Then I kinda forgot to call her back so she calls me at 1 in the morning (Texas time) and leaves a frantic message on my phone thinking I got kidnapped or something. (Seriously? Seriously? I’m 26. Not 14. Geez.) So the Polynesian thing was fun—something you have to do at least once, but let’s get to the good stuff now, shall we? AKA my LOST tour. The only reason I went to Hawaii. I got that question before and got some eye-rolling. Now I just tell people it was just a fun vacation, with LOST just being a perk.
6:09: Damn. I still have an hour before I have to wake up. Can it be 7 already?
6:30: Decide to get up and order room service. Omelet, toast, orange juice, it’s just that kind of day. A bright and shiny day. A day I have been waiting for for 6 years!
7:00: Have breakfast on the balcony. And put the pink flower in my hair that was lying delicately on my tray. Think about which of the cast members I’ll see. *prays for Matthew Fox and/or Evangeline Lilly* but then realize I’ve never been that lucky.
7:30: OK! Ready to go! I’m sitting out in the lobby waiting for a big black Hummer come to pick me up.
8:03: OMG. They’re 3 minutes late. Did I miss him? I did confirm my tour, didn’t I? I see a black Ford SUV, but that can’t be it. Oh. Wait. A guy with curly blonde hair, stylish sunglasses and a “Got Lost?” t-shirt is coming out of it. A little SUV? They said it was going to be a Hummer. Liars. Oh well. I suppose I can do without the Hummer.
8:04: Scared out my mind because the girl sitting behind me with her boyfriend looks just like Kate. And she’s wearing her exact costume from the pilot episode. Now I’m an obsessed fan like everyone else in this car, but dang. The girl needs some serious therapy.
8:06: Oh God. The girl is already gushing over Sawyer and Kate and making wise-cracks at my boy, Jack. Typical Skater. Mean, nasty, won’t shut up and obviously has no idea what a real, true-love, adult relationship is. Kill me now. I consider asking for her # because when Jack and Kate do end up together, and I know they will, I would love shove it in her face.
8:10: Love our tour guide, Aaron. And since I’m the only one by myself (of course), I get to sit up front next to him. Told us he’ll be an extra in an upcoming episode of “The Candidate” and will be playing a doctor who walks behind Jin in a flash-sideways. Awesome! He even gets all starry-eyed when talking about how he saw Terry O’Quinn at the snack table. Terry O’Quinn says looking at all the snacks, “What have we got here?” to Aaron and he just laughs and walks away. Totally what I would do, by the way.
8:12: When driving by Hurley’s parent’s house, Aaron mentions he saw Matthew Fox in a distance but didn’t actually speak to him. The bleach-blonde sorority girls in the back who have been snacking & gabbing this whole time, all of a sudden actually raise their voices and gush, “Oh my God! Matthew Fox! He’s so hot! We watch this show just for him!” I laugh and try to brush it off lightly, not wanting to admit I kind of do the same thing. Then, miss “Kate look-a-like” punches us down again, saying Foxy is ugly and goes on and on about Sawyer as we pass the LA Fitness Josh Holloway apparently works out at.
10:15: Are we ever going to stop somewhere so we can actually take pictures rather than just whizzing past different filming locations for a few seconds? First were Sayid’s Iraq scenes, then Eko’s Nigerian scenes, then Kate’s Iowa scenes and some Locke locations…the website made it look like we would stop at all these places. They lied again.
11:00-Stopped at this remote, beautiful mountainous area where lots of scenes are filmed called, Kualoa Ranch, to pay for the tour. Took a picture with Jack, the action figure, which I still haven’t gotten yet. But the only one they had for sale was Jin. Sorry, Jin. As much as I love ‘ya, I have to pass. Can’t believe we’re in Oahu and we still haven’t found any LOST merchandise to buy. WTF? Hasn’t this show partly put them on the map? Oh, wait. I guess Hawaii 5-O started that.
12:00: Finally a stop at the Temple of the Gods (Sun and Jin’s flashback scenes). One of my favorite stops on the trip. Got all emotional on the bridge where Jin proposed, and where Jacob touched both of them at their wedding. This would also be the place where Jorge Garcia later buries his dog, Nunu, who got run over the day he left Hawaii. I guess “the island was done with him.”
12:10: We are all starving and we haven’t stopped for lunch. All we got was a lousy granola bar and bottled water? At least give us a decent snack, bro.
12:30: Stomach growling
12:45: Stomach still growling.
1:00-If we don’t stop soon, I think I’m gonna pass out.
1:20- OK, Aaron says we’ll be eating lunch soon. But then again, he said that an hour ago. P.S. Why is Aaron only taking us by Sawyer scenes? I mean, the hotel where Sawyer slept with all these wealthy wives? Hardly a thing to get excited about. The places are run down and empty. Go figure. I think Aaron is a little obsessed with the hunky conman.
1:30: Finally. A stop at this outdoor lunch area, where we enjoyed our lunches by a peacock eating French fries off the floor. Can’t believe this little area right next to it is where the plane fell and Boone died. This little area by a parking lot? Seriously? It’s amazing what crew members can find on Oahu.
2:30: Lunch was OK, not that great. Kinda wish it had been with all the money I paid. I’ve been talking about the money thing a lot, haven’t I? Sorry. Now onto the good stuff. The beaches, the campsites and ending with DHARMA Ville.
2:45: Can’t believe we didn’t stop at Hurley’s golf course. Aaron pointed it out somewhere in the far distance. When I was looking at LOST tours online, there was another LOST tour with some other company that did stop there. And at Kate and Sawyer’s waterfall. I’m starting to think I should have gone on that at one. Oh well. Maybe next time-provided, if someone actually goes with me.
3:30: So cool that I’m actually sitting on the beach where the plane crashed in the pilot episode. Later, the campsite moved to a different beach where the tents are all set up. So cool! Sad we can’t actually walk through there. All of us were trying to figure out which tent belonged to which character.
“Isn’t that Sawyer’s tent?”
“I see the cradle. Isn’t that Claire’s?”
“ No, there’s no cradle there.”
“That tent there is the biggest. It must be Jack’s.”
Laughter follows. We then see a security guard in a yellow LOST crew t-shirt. (I remember seeing those guys on Jimmy Kimmel’s visit to the set) reading a newspaper at the kitchen table area. Is he really gonna stop us from walking under this tape? Although the guy does look huge.
4:00-I could so live in DHARMAville. I got all misty eyed when we got to huddle under Sawyer and Juliet’s porch when it rained for like 30 seconds. Then got a picture on the porch of Kate’s house where she lived for a time. At least this site we could actually walk around in. Favorite part was when we saw the inside of the game room, and any Jater like me gets all happy when we hear the word, “game room.” AKA best Jack and Kate scene ever. I even took a picture of the chair in there where Jack sat. I wanted to sit in it, but didn’t want people to think I’m crazy.
4:30-Time to go home. *sad face* Aaron points out a few little things along the way, but it’s raining even harder now and I think we’re all kind of exhausted. He stops on the side of a road and pulls out his white binder of LOST photos. We saw the gas station where Sawyer & Cassidy first met and conned people but it’s nothing like it was in the show. Then, we saw a random DHARMA swing set and thought about stealing it. The fuselage was covered up by this huge tarp. I guess in case they needed to use it again. They didn’t. A few months after the show ended, it sold during the LOST auction for…I don’t even want to know. All I wanted from the set was that picture frame of Jack and Aaron in “Something Nice Back Home” but it sold for like a thousand bucks, too. And the thing started at $200. “Oh, $200. That’s not so bad. I’ll put a bid in. And I’ll win, too.” Goes to show how naive I am.
5:00-Aaron dropped me off at the hotel but I had to buy from him the same LOST shirt he had. Kinda upset we still had to pay for a shirt, but nonetheless, it will go in my permanent LOST collection. Happy to say goodbye to the rest of the people in the SUV since spending all day with them was too much.
5:30-Called my parents and told them all about the tour. First question they asked, “Who from the cast did you see?” Sure-like all those actors walk around all over the streets by themselves. Still was hoping I’d see them filming a scene, but who was I kidding? That cast probably has the highest security money can buy.
6:00-Went back to my hotel’s restaurant ‘cause I didn’t feel like getting back out. Tried the tomato soup and grilled cheese. Big disappointment. Note to self: stick with the mac & cheese like the title of the restaurant says.
7:00-Stays in hotel room for the rest of the night, thinking what the heck I’m going to do tomorrow. My flight doesn’t leave until late that evening. Well, guess it’s time to take my shoes off, get some sand between my toes and do what everyone else does in Hawaii– go to the beach. The same beach where they had the LOST premiere of the final season just a few months ago. Where I saw hundreds of screaming girls applaud when Matthew Fox and Evangeline Lilly hugged. Hey—that was huge. Rather than just drool over photos of them being all cute, I actually saw a video on YouTube where a girl screamed out, “Foxy, I love you! More than my boyfriend!” Now that’s what I’m talking about. And they still have the screen up right there in the middle of the beach. I know. We passed by it on the LOST tour. OK, enough about LOST. I’m done now.
Another LOST commercial comes on the TV. “Ooh! I wonder who from the cast will stay in Hawaii. I know Daniel Dae Kim will since he’s in ‘Hawaii 5-O’. But I wonder if Jorge, Josh or Evi will.”
OK, so maybe I’m not done.
So, I know what you’re wondering. Would I take a vacation by myself again? Well, let’s see. I did everything I wanted, minus Pearl Harbor, I didn’t get lost anywhere (pun intended) and I survived on my own. If you can get over the happy couples and merriment, I would say yes.
Nah, kidding. Travel alone. It’s good for you. You can discover so many things about yourself and others, even if it’s just by people-watching. And the best part is, you get to do what YOU want on your vacation. I always make it a point to get a little me-time everyday. It’s good for the soul and keeps you balanced. So, try it. And I promise, no one will be judging you. At least to your face.
For Play: Los Angeles, California (July-August 2010)
“Why LA?” People would ask me.
“For a writer’s conference.”
They would nod and the conversation would move on, like, “My great-aunt’s, husband’s brother lives in Orange County, which is close to LA.”
Whoop de freakin’ do.
So I was going for the writer’s conference, even though in reality, I just wanted to cross another state off my bucket list. Well, that and stalk movie stars. When I was looking at things to do, “tour movie stars homes” came up and I immediately bought the tour bus ticket. I was totally going to do something Lucy and Ethel. If only I had a friend help me pick a grapefruit in Richard Widmark’s backyard.
I had traveled alone before. It’s not like I was all sad and lonely. At least this time, I had a friend from college to go to dinner with for one night. Yes, believe it or not, this time I did have a friend that was conveniently in the same city I was traveling to.
The night before I left, my friend and I had an hour-long conversation (we hadn’t talked to each other since graduation 3 years ago) and he told me what it was like in LA, and all that jazz. And all the while, he was comparing it to NYC. I kept asking myself, “Dude. I know NYC is your holy land because of Broadway shows, but aren’t NYC and LA two completely different cities?”
Yeah, not so much. While I was there, I made some observations in my “Alice in Wonderland” notepad and made some comparisons and not-so-comparisons between the two biggest, noisiest, craziest cities I’ve been to. I had come to the conclusion that though fun to vacation in, I would seriously go broke within a week and pull my hair out (TOO… MANY… PEOPLE… MUST GET OUT. NOW.) Here are 5 points that I made note of. So I ask you, if someone had a gun to your head, which of the two cities would you pick?
1. The People (AKA Direction Givers): So which of the two give better directions? Easy. New Yorkers. I will say this—at least when you say thank you, Los Angelians will say “you’re welcome” every single time—even when they don’t help you a lick. LA-ers basically have no idea where they’re going and can’t even grasp the concept of “walking.” When I got lost walking around the Beverly Hills area, no one, not even a policemen, knew how to get to the street my hotel was on. (Seriously? I was staying at one of the biggest hotels in the city-how many Hiltons are there?) I finally went into a bank to ask this 20-something year-old guy, and after he gave me this glassy look, he mapquested it. Turns out my hotel was right around the corner and the man didn’t even know it. I swear, those people can’t go anywhere without a GPS. When I was walking around, a guy actually gave me his GPS and thought I could figure it out that way. I had to explain to the man that you actually have to be in a car for the thing to actually work. God bless him if he ever visits the Big Apple and does the same thing; it would be stripped and sold for parts within seconds. When you ask for directions in NY, you get a different response. I can ask any random person on the street, and though I would actually have to jump in front of them to get them to stop, they know exactly what street the “original” John’s Pizza place is on and can tell you exactly how to walk there. The “you’re welcome” might not be there, but hey-at least New Yorkers have street smarts.
2. The Restaurants: There is only one place you are required to eat at in California–In N Out. If you’ve never heard of the place and haven’t eaten there, you might as well be dead. When I was staying in Hollywood, there was an In N Out conveniently located next door to my crappy Days Inn hotel and I still didn’t have a chance to eat there. I found a California Pizza Kitchen instead, because well, we don’t have that place in Texas either, unless you want to try one of their frozen pizzas which doesn’t even compare to the real restaurant. When I was driving around with my friend one of the days, he gasped and nearly ran his car into the next lane, when I asked, “Isn’t In N Out just like McDonalds?” I turned up my nose and made a face like I do when I walk into my brother’s bedroom after he’s been to the gym. Brian then takes a hand off the wheel and puts it up like a stop sign. “Oh, no. In N Out is soooo much better than McDonalds. Their food is fresh. Their food is decently priced. Their food is healthy. Their food is…” blah blah blah. Whatever. I saw the place. It may as well have had a clown waving at you with a piece of cheese hanging out of his mouth. I have no right to judge since I haven’t been there, but is it really that good?
As far as NY, there are a million restaurants you” just have to go to,” when you ask for recommendations, but unless you’ve got at least a hundred dollars in your pocket, and I’m talking for one person, then don’t even bother going in unless you want to be like one of those Garfields people stick to their back window of their car. This could also apply to shopping. Well, OK, that’s not true. There is a Mickey D’s on every corner, but seriously. If you want to be a New Yorker, just carry around a tall decaf cappuccino from Dean and Deluca and you’ll fit in no problem. Oh, and if you’re stomach can tolerate it, a hot dog or pretzel from one of a million stands wouldn’t hurt.
3. The Shopping: Unless you have a rich guy to buy you stuff and want to go all Pretty Woman (which, by the way, if you try to go into the Beverly Wilshire hotel from that movie, lie and tell the doorman you actually do stay there), shopping in Beverly Hills is out. And, really, if you want to get technical, every other place in LA. I could go on about this subject, but I’m going to avoid it because, well, there is nothing I like to do less than shop. Put me in a library for hours on end and I won’t complain. But five minutes in a shoe store, and I’m sitting in a corner below a stash of high heels, hugging my knees, rocking back and forth. My advice is, if you see a pretty window display at Macy’s or Sax, don’t be tempted to go in because you’ll just get even more depressed that you can’t even afford a simple plaid scarf. Spend your money on cheap shot glasses for your friends.
4. The Places: In LA, I was smart enough to actually take a bus tour for the entire day with the last stop at Universal Studios. Universal Studios I got a grand total of 2 hours there. Woo hoo. Just enough time to do the movie set tour and jump back on the bus with a new bus driver who had to call his supervisor every five seconds to ask what street to turn on. But for the most part, that day was a lot of fun. Side note: don’t sit next to a Polish woman traveling alone. She can get EXTREMELY cranky by the end of the day. Some of my favorite quotes by our hysterically funny bus driver.
(passing by a nun putting money in a meter): “Hey look! Sister Act!”
(passing by Brian Williams from The Beach Boys, walking in the park): “Hello, Mr. Brian!” Brian waves back. “How are you?” Brian quickly walks off and gets into his Mercedes.
(tells us to look for movie stars as we tour some of their homes). “Hey look! Wait a minute—isn’t that? Yes, it’s Chuck Norris!” *everyone of us looks back, like we actually think he’s serious*
(after passing the street where Hugh Grant picked up that hooker): “I don’t understand. Why couldn’t Hugh just go to a strip club across the street? That’s what I would have done! It makes no sense.”
I would recommend taking the city bus tours in all the big cities. It will definitely save you the time of possibly getting lost and with bus tours, you may not have time to see everything, but you get the gist.
5. The Cost: So what did I spend the most money on while on my trip to LA? Food. Besides the fact that the writer’s conference only included 2 measly little meals for the 4 days, even a combo meal at Burger King (that is if you can find one. Fast food places are a little bit harder to find in this town) costs like 10 bucks. Seriously. Has the world gone mad? When I went out to dinner with my friend, all I wanted was a simple burger. The rest of the stuff was outrageous in price and I had to suck it up and eat a burger, which I rarely ever do. And, it still cost me like $30 with tip. No wonder celebrities are the only ones who can afford to actually live here. Yet another reason why I could never live here. Like NY, a great place to visit, but never in a million years would I move my couch to a tiny, closet apartment for $1500 a month.
Now that I’m looking over this list, I didn’t make LA sound so good, did I? Well, there’s my answer. I guess NY is a little better on the whole. Oh well, at least I had some fun. That’s all that matters when you travel, anyway.
For Work: Rome, Italy (January 2009)
I felt like I was in heaven. The historical ruins of the Roman Forum, the bubbling quattro-formaggio pizza, the transcendent sound of the Trevi fountain, Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel filling my soul with spiritual guidance, the beautiful sunset at the park across from the Catacombs… Oh, and then there was that day I got conned.
I had this delusional image in my mind that Italy was this classy far-away land where nothing bad happened. And before the trip when people told me, “Keep your purse close to you, put your wallet in your front pocket and always go in groups,” I thought, please. It’s Italy. After all, it’s where David Duchovny admitted his love for Minnie Driver in Return to Me. But, duh. What was I thinking?
So here’s what happened.
I decided to wake up at the crack of dawn the day after a group of us partied until 1 AM outside the Colosseum for New Year’s Eve. (Note to self: Next time, first bring a raincoat, and second, never run down the street when crazy Italians are lighting firecrackers in wine bottles and throwing them into the crowd.)
After one guy, John, actually got up that morning, we walked probably five miles to find the Spanish Steps, which we learned were just around the corner from our hotel (this just proves that guys still refuse to ask for directions). As we were enjoying the view, a little Italian guy took a bundle of red, green, and white yarn and started tying it around my wrist. At first, I thought, oh how nice. Giving out free bracelets, as a “welcome to our country” sort-of-thing. After about fifteen minutes of making these overtures, saying that John and I should practically get married, the man had the nerve to charge us 50 euros. I tried to take off my bracelet, but the creepy Italian guy wouldn’t let me. Kind of like a “you wear it, you buy it” thing. “But I don’t want this; I don’t have fifty euros,” I said.
John pulled out some change, and asked if I had any just to get this guy to leave us alone. And then, what do you know, another guy who looked just like my guy put a bracelet on John, as well — and, of course, said the exact same things to him: this color represents love, this one represents unity, peace…all that crap. I searched through my pockets and pulled out ten euros. “But all I have is this.” The man snatched it from me and said, “That’s OK. You’re students.” Oh, so students are exceptions because they know we’re always poor? Say what?
As they walked away, pocketing the money, I froze and said, “Did that actually happen? Did we just get conned?” Speechless, we both stood there like idiots, as the locals were probably laughing at us, saying, “Look at those two hopeless losers who fell for the oldest trick in the book.” Eventually we got over it, but I’ll tell you one thing for sure. I kept that bracelet on for the rest of the two weeks. Because I paid ten euros for it. And I had to get my money’s worth somehow.
Now don’t get me wrong, I did have a good time, too. I’ll never forget tasting the original Fettuccini Alfredo where it was first discovered at Alfredo’s restaurant, seeing the Virgin Mary and her child at St. Peter’s Basilica, and of course, the jaw-dropping beauty of so many ornate churches… I could go on and on.
I was looking through my journal the other day, and there were some things I noticed about Italy that I couldn’t just capture on my digital camera.
| There are eight cats wandering around the Sacred Area. And most are black. Can we say irony?After taking pictures of my food at every restaurant, I realized it really doesn’t look appetizing.I swear, if one more guy on the street asks me to buy an umbrella, I will punch him in the face.Buongiorno and grazieare really the only two words you need to learn how to say in Italian.We Americans are too much in a hurry to work hard. Seriously. They shut down everything in the middle of the afternoon, eat dinner at 8 PM and don’t leave the restaurant until 11. Now that’s life.Gelato after every meal is a must. Because gelato makes everything better. Is it wrong of me to think that all of the ruins in Rome are starting to look exactly the same? Maybe I should have been a history major.
Why does the hotel only have one TV station in English? And does it have to be VHI’s music video station? Britney Spears, Rihanna, Justin Timberlake, & Madonna? Come on. “Desperate Housewives” dubbed in Italian is starting to look better and better. Rome should certainly invest in street signs. No wonder one of the students came in at 6 in the morning because he got lost. Of course, the alcohol didn’t help. Coca-Cola is so much better in Italy than in the US. Forget all that fancy, expensive wine. Get me a coke! |
I say, make your own memories. These were mine. Even though I have tons of pictures in scrapbooks of all of the places I went, this was more of a spiritual lesson to learn. The culture, the fine art and the history really opened my eyes. And if I could give any advice to those traveling to Rome: When strange Italian guys flirt with you and give you a bracelet, just say no.
(previously published in April 2009 on www.litterboxmagazine.com)
Cassie Jean, writer 